Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
