He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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