I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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