Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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