We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
