please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize