she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
