How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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