whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
