I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
