Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
