lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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