I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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