i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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