My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
