You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
