You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
