There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
