idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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