ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
