oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
