Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
