You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
