do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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