The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
