The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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