I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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