what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize