There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
