I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
