Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
