I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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