this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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