so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
