the day after is always just damage control
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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