She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize
