He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I have aggressive nipples.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
