So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
