That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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