so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
