i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
