so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize