so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
