Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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