I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
