she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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