she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You took a bar mat shot.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize