these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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