He is an equal opportunity slut.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
