girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize