He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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