it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
