how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
