hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
