i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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