3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
