THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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