just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
