You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize