do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize