We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
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