I got chris browned last night
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
