Christians are straight up FREAKS
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
