Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
