i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
