Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
