I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He did a backflip because drugs
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
