So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
