Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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