But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize