giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize