barbara walters just said penis...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
