we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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