I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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