no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
