We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
