I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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