Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
