Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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